i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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