i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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