So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
