yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
