I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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