Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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