Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
