isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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