and you said cock pushups were impossible
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
