Nicole vs. Life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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