ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
