remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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