also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
