Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
