We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
