I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
