He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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