Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
