i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
