Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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