Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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