Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
