Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
