the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
two words...techno handjob
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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