I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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