yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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