Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
