Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
