If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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