you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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