I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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