I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
