the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
