She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
