Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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