am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
