How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
