I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
