oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
