I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
