He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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