I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
