Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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