Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
