Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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