Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
