I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
