Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
