Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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