Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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