I think im going to throw up on grandma
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
