I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
