Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
