He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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