Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize