I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
