return my video game
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
