i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
