So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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