I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we're making bets on your personal life
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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