If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
