It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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