im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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