I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to calm my uterus...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
