Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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