So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
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There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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