Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
